Self-compassion is often associated with softness—offering ourselves kindness, peace, and safety. But what if, at times, the most compassionate act is not gentle at all—but bold?
In mindfulness and hypnotherapy practices, we sometimes use a guided meditation in which you imagine a compassionate companion-a gentle figure, a beloved pet, or a luminous being—to help you cultivate self-kindness. I’ve led this meditation for both individuals and groups. Yet when I’ve tried to conjure such a figure for myself, it’s often felt a little silly.
But that changed during a professional training with Dr. Erik Van den Brink. In our debrief, I shared—somewhat sheepishly—that my compassionate figure wasn’t tender or angelic. It was a bighorn sheep.
Just weeks earlier, on day five of a 10-night rafting trip through the Grand Canyon, I saw something astonishing. From our riverside camp, we watched a male bighorn sheep stare at us, then—seemingly without hesitation—leap into the wide, cold, fast-moving Colorado River. With fierce determination, he crossed the current and climbed out the other side.
Our seasoned guides were stunned. They had never seen such a thing.
Bighorn sheep are creatures of steep cliffs and dry terrain. They aren’t known for swimming, and certainly not across rivers like the Colorado. But this one did. And he became my unlikely symbol of compassion, not because he was comforting, but because he was courageous.
When I admitted this, Dr. Van den Brink, with great warmth, responded:
“Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is to be bold.”
A fellow traveler caught the moment on her phone. When I rewatch it, I’m reminded that gentleness isn’t the only form of care. Sometimes, compassion wears the face of wild determination.
Where in your life is boldness asking to be present?
Can self-compassion include courage, risk, or discomfort?
Who—or what—has surprised you by showing you how to keep going?
Citation:
Koster, F., & van den Brink, E. (2015). Mindfulness-based compassionate living: A new training program to deepen mindfulness with heartfulness. Routledge.
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