The desire for perfection drives much of our lives and how we view ourselves. Social comparison has never helped self-esteem. We will always find someone who seems better than we are. Social media consumes a vast amount of people’s time and leaves many feeling insecure, grasping for more and more. When I grew up, it was called ‘keeping up with the Joneses”, and ironically, my last name was Jones, but that didn’t cause me to feel superior to others, just like TikTok and Instagram don’t give anyone genuine self-esteem.
When I started my Substack publication, Between the Lines, I expected to write regularly and record meditations. I was not doing this for money because I have my work as a psychologist and make enough. But I was tremendously appreciative when someone paid for a subscription— I can count you on one hand; thank you!
I have not published much on my Substack, and I regret that. Writing regularly made me feel better—more creative and productive. Writing lets me reflect on our challenges and how we move through difficulty.
Several things thwarted my writing. Whether it was a super packed schedule of clients or my broken shoulder, the trips across the country for pleasure and work became easy ways to put off the solitary act of sitting alone at my kitchen table with my laptop.
But I admit to another trap I fell into—wanting reader engagement. I see the lack of “likes” or “comments,” and I feel like I am writing into a black hole. This stymied my wish to create, and I shoved it to the back of my mind. Then another gigantic deterrent entered—AI ChatGPT— an algorithm that can write a post in nanoseconds that would take me days of sweat and toil. Knowing that a bot could write faster and with fewer typos intimidated me.
During a visit, I mentioned my conflict about writing to my daughters, and they asked who I was comparing myself to on Substack. I told them about several authors I follow, like George Saunders and Patti Smith. They laughed, saying, “Mom, they are literally Rock Stars!”. It was a good wake-up call for me, and I used that conversation to reflect on why I started blogging and recording meditations in the first place.
I did some deep thinking about combining the work I love—the practice of doing psychotherapy—with the creative practice of writing and giving away meditations I know would be helpful for people. Not for the money, likes, and comments, but because it makes me feel good. I considered disabling the ‘engagement’ function on my Substack. But in the end, I realized that wanting to know what I write has meaning is not bad. The more hurtful response would be to inhibit myself from doing something I love.
As I thought about writing regularly again, I asked ChatGPT for some quotes on why writers write, and this is what ChatBot replied:
"I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters that I am not. I write to explore all the things I'm afraid of." - Joss Whedon
“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” - Anne Frank
“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” - E.L. Doctorow
“I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die.” - Isaac Asimov
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” - Anaïs Nin
“I write to discover what I know.” - Flannery O'Connor
“A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.” - Thomas Mann
“I write not to find the end of a journey, but to begin one.” - T.S. Eliot
“I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.” - Flannery O'Connor
“The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.” - Albert Camus
~OpenAI. (2024). ChatGPT (4) [Large language model].
These quotes encapsulate various aspects of why writers are compelled to write, from self-exploration and expression to the impact they wish to have on the world. I’ve decided that instead of impeding my writing, I will use this tremendously amazing technology to partner with rather than see it as a threat. I promise always to cite when and where I use it and use it sparingly when I do.
Onward! You can’t make it perfect after all.
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